Saturday, April 25, 2009

Finding peace

Just a few hours ago Jess's memorial service in California came to an end. It has been two weeks today since she entered the gates of His kingdom. I know that many people have been praying over these past few weeks... I have sensed those prayers, I have been strengthened and renewed by them, and I have been able to get thru these days because of them. The emails, cards and comments have meant the world to me. Thank you, I feel so blessed to have you as a part of my life.

Losing someone at such a young age brings so many varied feelings no matter what the circumstances are. The truth is that it's 14 days later and I don't understand it any better than when I was standing at her bedside, removing her wedding ring for Matt, and brushing her hair off of her beautiful forehead. I won't understand it any better in a few weeks when we receive the results from the medical examiners office. The findings will really mean nothing to me, bottom line is that she is gone from this earth. The Lord was the only one who knew her fate all along.

He allows us to all grieve in numerous patterns and time frames. While yes, I am sad she is gone, I miss her deeply, and think of her constantly BUT I am at peace with her going to be with our God. Of course, the only way to know that peace is to know Him. Nothing I say can make you believe in His love the way He desires you to.

Tonight, tomorrow and throughout the coming months, without fail I will continue to trust in Him to heal myself and the rest of the people that loved Jessica so much.



  1. I'm very sorry for the loss of your SIL. I went back and read your beautiful posts about her. I just lost my uncle two weeks ago. This is undoubtly a difficult time for you. Please let me know if you need anything.

  2. Sorry to hear you lost your SIL. God bless and comfort you and your family, especially your BIL.

  3. Sorry about your loss. You have such a strong sprit. When we lost my Grandma a year ago I wished I had the Lord in my life then. I do now and he has brought me peace also in her going home.
    Take care of yourself and your family. Praying for you.


  4. Continuing to remember you and your family in our prayers Kristen. A dear friend reminded me recently that sometimes only He knows the 'why' and that we may never understand fully why some things happen - but that we should always remember that it is part of His great plan, and will make sense to us some day when we meet Him face to face. Blessings to you all, Fiona x (FeeBeeKay)